I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
