Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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