you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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