Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
