Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
