She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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