I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
