who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
