I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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