Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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