i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize