i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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