i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
