we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
