I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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