im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
