She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
