Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
