Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
last night I used snow as a chaser
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
