Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
