I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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