this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
