Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
