Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My feet surprised me
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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