I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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