tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
