i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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