sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
