you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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