Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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