that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Sacagawea was the original milf.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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