my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
