HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
