never play flip cup with pint glasses
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
