I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
