hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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