Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
