giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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