Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
