it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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