dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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