I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
