Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
