Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
