Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
