I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
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