maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
