let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
