I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
