Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
