i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Your penis caused this!
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