I am in a vortex of obligation.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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