I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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