Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
