its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
