she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
