you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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