is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Can I color on your dick again?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
